Long distance is hard. There’s no sugarcoating it really. It can be really hard and it can really suck sometimes. It takes a lot of time and dedication and patience. But when you find the right person, I swear it’s worth it.
People always ask me “how we do it” and seem to do it happily. And I just want to point out that social media might perceive it to be easy for us, but we work hard. We’ve gone through a lot the past five and a half years of dating, especially in the beginning of long distance and adjusting – a lot of bickering, arguing, and irritability. We get annoyed at each other and we fight over stupid things. But there has also been so much love, growth, patience, and appreciation for each other. The love – that part comes easy. It comes naturally. And that makes everything better. It makes everything worth it.
Campbell and I never talked about what we were doing when he went to college until after he graduated high school. To be honest, I assumed that we would break up. (Note that this is back in 2012. Ah!) I didn’t even think it was a question; I just thought typically, when someone goes off to college, you just break up. When it was brought up early that summer, Campbell had the complete opposite opinion. He didn’t see why we would break up when we still loved each other, and assumed we would take it day by day and see what happened. I agreed, remember being slightly surprised, but happy because I still wanted to be with him. And now over five years later, our day by day mentality has brought us to almost five years of long distance. But we’ve made it through, and although it’s been tough, it’s been really happy. We’re really happy.
There are no tricks to doing long distance. Every relationship is different and every person needs or expects different things out of a relationship. But I think what has really helped us over the years is committing to being better versions of ourselves to benefit the relationship. For example, Campbell can suck at communication (sorry to throw you under the bus babe, I have my flaws too). Communication is so key in any relationship, let alone when you’re both living in different states and only are seeing each other every 4-6 weeks. But over the years, he’s improved tremendously because he’s committed to being better so our relationship can be better. And I really appreciate that. I appreciate that he has actively tried to be better for us. We also commit to doing daily routines that make it easier on the both of us and make it feel like we’re closer. For example, the first person that goes to bed always calls the other one; therefore, if we’ve both had busy days and haven’t talked much, at least we always talk once before bed. We’ve been doing this since he first went away to school, and it has really helped us just take a minute, breathe, and just focus on each other for some time and not the rest of the world. We’re both so busy at school that it’s easy to go a few days and get wrapped up in all the chaos.
People ask me if I feel like I’ve missed out on something when it comes to dating in college and experiencing college life to its maximum. And I don’t feel like I’ve missed out on anything. I’ve got to experience college with the love of my life (although from a distance) and we have some of the best memories visiting each other and with each other’s friends. I think I would have missed out on so much more if I didn’t have Campbell in my life, if we weren’t together. Sure, it hasn’t all been easy. But every frustration, every moment of missing each other, every moment of being sad…It has been worth it. True love is worth it.
“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”